Why many women don’t talk about money with other women

Money is an integral part of our lives yet it seems as women we don’t like talking about it with each other. Most women would rather talk about boys during a girl brunch date or find it easier to voice sexual dissatisfaction with a partner instead of talking about money - how to make extra income, how to negotiate better salaries, how to save and invest, our money wins and struggles, and much more.

But what’s stopping us?

Most women claim they don’t talk about money with other women because the topic just never comes up in conversations or when a hint of money is brought up in conversations, it becomes awkward and weird. Women tend to be more emotional about the state of their finances, especially when going through financial troubles. We feel so alone in our struggles and don’t realize our girlfriend sitting across from us at the brunch table might be going through something similar.

YOU’RE NOT ALONE.

Most financial problems many people face today were made when they were young and were just making their first financial decision. Maybe you took on too much debt, did not invest early, did not plan your finances, and are now living paycheck to paycheck. Guess what? So many people made the same mistakes and are now tackling them head-on therefore there is no reason to do it alone.

The problem is rooted deep in societal systems.

We come from a society where money is viewed as a man’s domain. Research has shown that some parents are more likely to speak to their sons about money than their daughters. Some prefer to talk about shopping with their daughters and stocks with their sons. This has a ripple effect when the kids grow up and become financially independent from their parents, and it’s the reason why women are less likely to ask for salary raises compared to men, why men are paid more than women, why there’s a financial literacy gap between men and women.

And Hollywood doesn’t help with the situation

Remember that moment in “Sex and the City” when Carrie Bradshaw couldn’t afford to buy an apartment because she had bought too many shoes? That she had miscalculated how much she paid for them by $36,000? I’m sure that was meant to be cute and I get the humor but as a financial advisor, I don’t find it cute.

But I’m sure we all agree that times have changed where women are leading families, and corporations and are in charge of their own and their children’s future. We live in a capitalist society where everything revolves around money and it’s in our interest, especially we women, to educate ourselves about finances, to teach our daughters and sons about money.

Lack confidence in financial literacy is stopping financial conversations

This can feel like a catch-22 situation: you feel foolish for not knowing but at the same time feel intimidated to ask questions. If you naturally don’t feel confident talking about money, start by educating yourself about financial literacy. Know the terminologies, know the tools available, know your work benefits and slowly you will start feeling confident to bring money conversations to the table.

Why women need to talk more about money

1.You’ll feel empowered

What happens if you know your BFF recently successfully negotiated a 20% pay rise? You will feel empowered to try negotiating with your employer too. You will also leave the table with new knowledge, more confidence and more financially literate. Just be sure to pass the knowledge on.

2. You’ll learn financial tips and tricks from each other

Women generally like to help therefore you should never feel shy about sharing helpful financial advice. A good friend recently shared a salary negotiation tip she learned on Tik Tok and applied while transitioning jobs and she was able to win big. What happened is I left the brunch table with new information and hopefully I can try it to negotiate a pay rise soon.

3. You’ll benefit from salary transparency

You’ve probably heard about the gender pay gap and how women earn 84% of what men earn. If you know what people around you earn, you’ll know if you are underpaid or fairly compensated so instead of being jealous of your girlfriend earning more than you, use that information to negotiate for more money.

More from Topspin Finance: How to talk about money when dating

Conclusion

The good news is women tend to be more disciplined which can be applied in financial situations. There is strength in numbers so the more we women instigate these conversations the more likely we’re able to reduce the financial gap and build generational wealth in the long term. Start talking today.